What a beautiful feeling it is to LOVE… To say that I LOVE YOU warmly from the heart…

When we feel love; Steps taken to love run to the lover…

So what makes us feel love? Have you ever thought?

 Let’s talk about this a little bit…

Let’s go back to my childhood…

We create our love language in our nuclear family. By making inferences from the communication with our mother and father, we perceive love and try to show that we love it.

Did you feel that you were loved enough by your mother/father?

How did your mother/father show you their love?

After what behavior did your mom/dad say to you, “Because I love you.”?

In which defense is your mother/father said to you; “I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t love you.”?

Do you look like your mother or father when you show your love to your lover?

What effect does the love language established between you and them have on the way you show your love to your lover?

I suggest you think about them and write them down on a piece of paper. Your mother, father and lover column… How do I show them my love? How do I know that they love me? When we write these in detail, the situation will become clearer for us.

Being liked, respected, cared for, accepted, approved and loved are one of the most basic needs of a person. In order for us to continue a healthy relationship with our beloved, the most basic needs of a person must be mutually met from each other. In order for us to start out by considering our needs to be human, let’s first take a look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Let’s address our needs in situations where there is no crisis:

Let’s take our pyramid of needs in love:

When we say physiological need, breathing, nutrition, sleep, sex, happiness, excretion are included in it.

In new parents, the problem of who will get up at night for the child is often experienced. When one of the spouses does not respect the other’s need for sleep, the flow will be interrupted on the other steps of the pyramid. Being solutionistic and fair will allow you to easily go through this difficult process. Remember that the primary need varies in times of crisis.

The safety of the environment in which we are with our lover

Let’s think that the system works with pleasure, let’s say to our beloved I LOVE YOU.

Now, it is the time to show our love…

Let’s look at how we can make our lover feel our love and sense of belonging:

For example, you want her/him to change something about your lover. Praise what s/he does well. Offer suggestions for the other area instead of criticizing it. A criticism that does not offer suggestions for a better one is a disrespect to the other partner and consumes the relationship.

Making verbal compliments is a way to express words of affirmation to your lover. Your lover may be waiting for your encouraging words in areas where he or she feels insecure. Encouragement requires sensing emotions and seeing the world through your partner’s eyes.

Love is affectionate. So, if we have to convey love verbally, we should use affectionate words.

You may be having sexual problems with your partner. You can go to a specialist on the subject together. However, telling your private problems with your lover elsewhere will consume the trust and love between you. You should be respectful and careful in this matter.The situation is the same with your communication problems other than sexuality. Complaining to a friend or family about the lover will cause him to repeat this behavior. The problems between you are the secret of your relationship. Taking care of their privacy is the responsibility of every adult in a relationship. If you hit him with his problems, he will do the same to you and the cold war will begin. If you cannot overcome the problem here, you can consult a specialist and get support regarding communication in your relationship.

3.6.  By “spending quality time” with your lover, you can say I LOVE YOU.

Chatting away from the phones and showing your lover that s/he has all your attention is one of the ways to say I Love You. That’s why, whether you’re watching a movie or doing an activity together, be careful to have a conversation by focusing on each other.

People want to know their “beautiful thoughts and feelings” about them. They become more attentive in this regard and their motivation increases.

Gift choice is valuable and important. Knowing what your lover likes is important to buy her/him a gift. Otherwise, your lover may come to you with the feeling “S/He bought a gift to have received a gift, s/he didn’t buy it for me”. Find out how s/he likes gifts. Some are happy with Kinder surprise chocolate, while others like flashy jewelry. A surprise for some; while it is a holiday, for some it is the receipt of the goods they need.

It is also important what the lover sees as service. Some people see putting water in a jug from the carboy, some ironing their shirts, some going to the grocery store, some preparing breakfast as a service and understand that they are loved. Do not forget; our mothers have always shown us their love by using the language of service. This is a I LOVE YOU language that has been in the lives of each of us since childhood. Therefore, we can make each other happy by serving each other in relationships.

The basis of a healthy relationship is an emotional relationship. Emotional relationship, on the other hand, begins with beautiful feelings, touches. It says “I love you from the heart” while long touches, loving and caressing, kissing, cause to enjoy the union..

Isolation prevents the growth of love in a marriage. Touch your lover. Let your flow of love balance your relationship.

Lovers, who love each other and can say “I love you” and make their partner feel that, can easily respect each other. Being respected; It is very important for the person in the individual and social areas. It is the foundation of the relationship. When respect is broken, the relationship ends because love languages ​​do not flow.

Finally; let’s do a study with ourselves and evaluate the situation we are in: Over the past year, have you been meeting each other’s basic needs? What, how much do you cover? (give a rating out of 10)

How do you show each other “I love you”? Where and in what actions do you look for his love? Identify these and then talk to your lover. I suggest you read and talk about Garry Chapman’s Five Love Languages ​​with your partner.

Write your suggestions to make each other happy and give each other a big hug.